Helicopter Parenting or Natural Safety

I am sure, beyond doubt, that you have heard about the helicopter parents and grandparents who hang over a child and are sure that everything they do is “safe” and that they don’t get hurt going down a slide or something.  They are the ones who say they have come to see you but their eyes are never off their children.

The other day I spoke about the fact that children (in particular on the spectrum) will do something crazy and/or dangerous because (as my son labels it) his head told him to.  And I am well aware he is not the only one who does that.  I have heard of children on the spectrum who are “escapers” - they are the ones that make a dash for it the SECOND the carer cannot see them.  They have been known to get out of the house, run across roads etc.

Now I will admit we were highly fortunate that Johnathan was a stayer - one of his sensory needs was touch so he felt much more comfortable when he could be near whatever adult was looking after him - preferably holding their hands or having a cuddle, if possible..  Slight technical hitch there - he didn’t understand why Mummy couldn’t reach him to hold his hand while she was driving and he was in his seat in the back.

So if you have an escape artist as a child on the spectrum, you need to have eyes and ears everywhere.  There are so many different things I have heard people have done to keep their child in a safe situation.  And yes, they may have their eye constantly on the child, but that’s because they HAVE to.  Or they give the child a rucksack or a nice comfortable curly wire between the child’s wrist and their own.  I have also known some parents who give them their phone - or others who have a hand painted on their car for where the child needs to stand holding it until the parent is ready.  

In fact, you can’t really call the precautions some parents have to take as helicoptering.  Although he was a stayer (in comparison to some I knew) that didn’t mean he was safe wherever he was.  There are steps that have to be put in place before you go somewhere and if you get it wrong the first time, that’s not surprising.  

Sometimes you don’t know what to do for the best for your child for their safety and happiness.  So please, remember if you see a parent apparently helicoptering their child, look for a while and see if it is truly that, or if there could be some other reason for it..  Of course some parents are like that, but most of the ones I know are NOT and are attempting to keep their child safe.