Finding and Finishing with Autism

I will admit that these two things are one of the areas I find difficult to deal with.  But I do know that is my problem and not theirs.  I will admit that my patience has grown over the years, even though I do have some way to go.

For myself I find that counting to ten and reminding myself that it’s not them being annoying, it’s my reaction that needs to improve and allow them to do it themselves.  Johnathan will walk into the sitting room and ask where his ipad is.  Fact is, he either took it OUT of the room so I have no idea at all, OR he hasn’t even had it IN  the sitting room at all!  So I ask him where he last remembers having it

And then, of course, when things are MEANT to be in an order (let’s say alphabetical) and something is out of place, it becomes very difficult to find, and confusing because it just isn’t there.  Of course, if I have to find it I can, but it takes time.  And that’s ok.  Even if I try and explain how/where to look, I find my explanations are not specific enough.  You have to be completely accurate for someone on the spectrum to find something - especially if it is out of place or order.

One of my friends was sharing with me that someone on the spectrum in her family had bought some things and they were going to be different sizes.  However, when she opened the box, the items were not in the right order and she got completely confused by it,  Now, I understand that sometimes people just don’t notice or care if things are in order, but if someone with autism receives a package that isn’t in order, it becomes an issue for them.

And finishing!  I know, I remember what it was like as a child if I was called to come and do something when I was in the middle of a chapter in a book.  It was SO frustrating!  I wanted to read it and needed to go and do something else.  UGH.  Not great at all.  I wanted to FINISH the chapter I was reading and stop in a great place.

Well, I have discovered that Johnathan struggles with leaving something before he has completely finished, too.  Sometimes this can mean a full meltdown.  The way I try to work with him on this is that I give him time to finish, or TELL him he won’t have time to complete before he is done, so that he has the space to change his mind ad do something else.  When I do this, it gives me space to allow him the chance to complete whatever it is.  There are times of course where we just have to get him to stop for appointments and things like that.  I think in this case it’s about managing expectations - both his and mine.  What do you think?