Routine and autism
Well you’ve probably heard that autistic people like routine, And I want to express to you the importance of it. I have tried to be routine conscious and in some ways have managed to be but have craved NO routine because it feels so unnatural to me.
Kevin and Johnathan LOVE routine. They have a certain amount of playtime together every night….and early Saturday morning. Johnathan has a specific routine in the morning and he knows the order of the tasks he has to do. If he sticks to the routine he gets to school on time for sure, but if he doesn’t then he can be later. Now, don’t think it’s because he doesn’t want to - he gets distracted by things and so we remind him that he needs to focus on his tasks and do the next one if he’s finished the last.
When Johnathan was really small, Kevin used to put him in t he bath with me and I would get him clean, then Kevin lift him out and dry him and we worked together. But we moved into this place in 2015 and we were told we could only have a walk in shower. This came with a VERY noisy pump which scared Johnathan so much and he hated going in there. We tried a number of different things without success and in the end the carers would give him a bed bath….then we got a bath fitted in the smaller bathroom and we all now use it.
I don’t do things in the same order and I don’t remember what the order was I did it before. And I know that. I also know that Johnathan and Kevin like order and the same order of how they do things. So Johnathan tends to refer to Kevin to keep the order of the actual routine the same for him. And I try to remember the order things come in.
However, I have noticed if there is no change whatsoever in our lives, Johnathan finds it much harder when an event crosses his life without warning. I had thought it would be good to have SOME flexibility in the routine, but doing this causes tremendous anxiety. It’s a constant desire for routine that I hate, although I can see the benefits of it. But when something happens that brings necessary change, it can cause lots of problems.
It’s a constant conundrum and no easy answer. Although we now do have a consistent routine the timing of it is not the same. But the order in general stays as much as we can the same. It’s a compromise for my sake and I am grateful that Kevin and Johnathan accept it.