Must be done NOW with autism

One of the biggest things we have come up against with Johnathan is IMMEDIACY  If something is going to be done, he doesn’t HAVE patience to wait for it.  Let me just give you an example.  When we were in lockdown, Jonathan wanted to learn an app called swift.  Basically it is used to introduce children to computer coding.  But he wanted to do the END of it before he even learned it!

We have had countless meltdowns over things you wouldn’t normally expect a child to respond to in the normal path of life.  And when things don’t react in the way he expects or he doesn’t KNOW how to do it the SECOND he knows/sees it, the whole household is aware of it, even the animals.

Now I have actually been thinking about this and wondering where it comes from.  Even when he was tiny, it was a massive thing for him.  And his early meltdowns were epic - could last for 4 hours.  But then he’d have a nap, so that was a nice break for us.  However it was exhausting for everyone in the family, not just him.

I remember the ghastly day when he lost the JUST COMPLETED Pikmin 2 game on the (I think it was the Wii at the time) accidentally by saving over the top of it.  And he wanted it back NOW!  Daddy had to FIX IT for him.  The difficulty is once a child has reached this state, it is impossible to reason with them.  Fix it was his cry and we had to try and explain to him that it wasn’t possible.  He had to do the whole thing again.  Oh my goodness!  Was he upset.  Poor child had spent months and achieved an amazing end but now, now he had to do it ALL again.  I will admit the second time was much easier for him, but it wasn’t the best experience for him.

And it can (and did!) happen time and again.  He has been a very impatient child and wants everything done NOW so I have always had any presents he has got ready to go the MOMENT he receives them.  Playing around with finding batteries and getting things out of boxes (gosh, that can be time consuming) is a nightmare I just don’t even want to contemplate.

So I consciously try and do some things a little later or slower than he wants and other things I do on time.  Quite honestly, Johnathan needs to learn how to wait a little bit and not demand things be done in the very instance he wants and I will admit it is also teaching me how to be patient WITH him.  You see, it’s a dynamic in the household and something you need to work out together as the adults in the house what things need waiting for and what can be seen/done straight away.  Some things they will be more patient at waiting for so it’s best to start holding back on one to start with and gradually move on from there because change is very difficult for them.