Emotions and Creation
I can imagine you understand that yesterday would bring a lot of different emotions in me. But I want to talk about it today, because maybe, just maybe, it can help someone. I don’t know if it will, but if it does, please feel free to let me know. I’d love to hear.
When I wake up feeling ghastly, I feel very frustrated, annoyed with myself and torn up that I am not able to do much to help Kevin. However, I do what I can, and if the phone calls are all I can do, at least I can do them!
From as young as I can remember I have always wanted to help people and make them feel special. It’s wonderful to see the smile spread across someone’s face and know that you bring something to them. To know that I have made a difference to someone is just amazing. Writing is also my “breath of life” to me. I can’t imagine never being able to write again. It would just be hell. When I don’t have that in my life, I miss it and wonder when it will return. Not that it stops me writing - it just means that I’m not saying something that has bee inspired and that to me is SO important.
Anyway, yesterday, the emotions that were troubling me, were basically hampering my creative flow. However, once he’d collected Johnathan from school and I knew they were both in with me for the evening I was finally able to calm down and relax and the inspiration flowed once again.
Don’t get me wrong - we DO have a good life. I would go so far as to say a great life. And yes, we are both disabled, but that isn’t important. That doesn’t define our lives. It is part and parcel of who and what we are. I feel secure in Kevin’s love for me and vice versa. And Johnathan is the joy of our souls, our special gift after four pregnancy losses.
To be able to write (well, actually I believe to able to do ANY creative process), you have to be aligned in body, mind and spirit and some emotions stunt the creative process, as if your mind is destroyed I guess truthfully that the only way it can be described is that writing is fuelled by a strange combination of factors. All I can do is follow that call when it comes and write the inspired pieces, the ones that keep you coming back again and again.
Sometimes inspiration comes in strange ways, times and places. And you can’t help but run with it when it comes. If you are a creative person, follow that tiny spark of inspiration and see where it leads and if you are not, but you love to do something, why not try it again? You never know if it will help you, too, to feel better about yourself.