Disappointment and Autism
I know that you are very well aware of how people on the autism spectrum deal (or don’t) with disappointment if you care for one or know one in person.
This is not to say that some people in general don’t deal with disappointment in a good way. In fact, I would say that due to my anxiety and depression, I myself am one of them. OK, I’m trying to learn different ways of dealing with it and give Johnathan knowledge so that he can begin to learn about it as well.
As you know, in life there are always disappointments from other people, from circumstances we encounter, Sometimes WE are the disappointed, and sometimes the disappointmentee/ Yes, I have just created a new word. You might have been disappointed that I haven’t yet done so. I think I’ve been writing long enough now to be able to do so. lol/
Seriously, let’s continue with disappointment. Today, for example, Johnathan found it hard to listen to listen or make good choices (well, autistic people have the same emotions and what have you as anybody else).But it wasn’t the fact that he was struggling to hear today, or that his grandparents were unhappy. What was almost worse was the upset afterwards. Yes, he had done some things that he really would have rather not done, but that wasn’t the problem.
What I was going to say was that he couldn’t see anything positive about the day. Even though there were some good things, he simply couldn’t see or acknowledge them. Now that I’m thinking about it, this is probably slightly more about anxiety than autism per se, but everyone is complex and you can’t just look at one facet of their lives and claim that it is the totality of it.
I will say that Johnathan does go through phases where he finds listening not as easy as others. But that doesn’t mean he’s being naughty by not listening - it means exactly what I have said, that he finds it hard to listen sometimes.
When he was younger he used to have to be told when he was meant to be going somewhere because if he was in a group, he wasn’t aware of it. Took him til his very last year in nursery to understand that. And the workers there were disappointed he didn’t learn it sooner, but that didn’t matter as to how they dealt with him - they just added his name onto any group activity his group were meant to do..
It’s great when the nursery and school staff work WITH the parents to help a child on the spectrum. We have experienced from none to great. That’s what you definitely look for when you leave your child. Someone that works with you.