Black and White Thinking and autism
Why black and white thinking? It’s the way that people on the spectrum think. I must admit, it can and has caused some problems or difficulties. I can always remember Kevin telling me that Johnathan had come to him in a terrible state because he thought the hairdresser and I were about to kill my hair in some bizarre way. We were only talking about dyeing, of course.
Whatever is said, it will be taken literally and there is nothing you can do to prevent this. You can’t get everyone to say exactly what they mean in a way that is precise and exact. People fudge over things and use comparisons or superlatives that either just don’t make sense and leave the person wondering what is going on, or they are
We have had situations where I have had to call the school and explain how something said has been taken by Johnathan because of how something has been explained and he thinks it will happen or he has thought something unexpected. The worst one EVER I think was the year he believed that if he was outside on Bonfire Night, he would be burned by the fireworks because they would fall on you.
Kevin was explaining to me that everything is in a box. And it has to stay within the box that has been decided on. For example, school is a place where you learn and you play with your friends outside of school time. The two just don’t mix because school is not play and vice versa.
I mean, I do mostly understand it, but this compartmentalisation of things is totally alien to me. Things tend to mix and merge rather than be separate. But it makes me see why home school was so alien to him. What went on in school (learning) didn’t happen at home and what we do here doesn’t happen in school.
The trouble is, you see, they don’t see what you are meaning, you have to adjust to them or it makes for a completely difficult and annoying life. Your adjustment to their understanding brings a whole new and unexpected flavour to your world. It takes time and energy and deliberation to ensure you only speak in accurate terms and don’t generalise. And if someone outside the home has not done so, you have to be prepared to put it in terminology they will understand.
Johnathan has always assumed that people are like him and they have to or must like whatever he finds interesting. The fact that I don’t enjoy killing people or other things on the computer or the tv is completely incomprehensible. I will say though that he is beginning to understand people are different to him and that’s great. We don’t have to explain everything to him and vice versa to school teachers. And this has made a big difference to me.