What would you do for loved ones?
The other day I saw an advert for something that i wouldn’t necessarily watch and the question was basically the same as the title but at the time my initial reaction was “not much.” Then, as I considered the question, I thought that actually I was incorrect in my determining of the issue.
Kevin and I pledged our lives to each other and that, for me, is an unbreakable vow. If he needed something that I couldn’t get in the UK, i’d go to the ends of the earth for him. We married for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. It’s interesting, isn’t it? When you consider the question as I later did, you begin to realise exactly how much you would do for a loved one.
But then we come to animals. We had a little brother kitten of Tara’s that we had, but he was desperately ill, poor boy! After a week of syringe feeding and going back and forwards to the vet with him, eventually the vet told me he wouldn’t be able to survive and so needed to put him down. Am I sad now that he made that choice? No. Did it get me more depressed for a while? Absolutely, yes. Would I do it again? If one of our animals needed it, I would do whatever it took to give them sustenance and love and affection.
You see, to me, there wouldn’t be a moment’s hesitation about doing what was right for an animal at any cost it took me. While i’m sad Tigger was put to sleep after a week, what I came home with was the fact that WE had got him. It was a terrible experience but we were happy to do whatever it took to make his little life the best it could ever be while he was with us. And that’s exactly what I would do again. What he needed, that’s what he got.
You’re wondering if it’s too high a price to pay? What do parents who have children living with cancer or another disease like leukaemia do? They look after them and give them the best time in whatever time is left to them. And I share their belief that it’s the right thing to do for any human or animal. If Natalie or any other of our babies had lived, I would have done all I could to take care of them and give them what they needed — not just what they wanted.
To give everyone everything they want can be really damaging and isn’t really helping them. But giving them what they need is different. And if my loved ones needed something and I could get it for them, I would.
An ongoing example, if you like, is that Johnathan needs balls he can squeeze to death without being destroyed. I know it’s a sensory issue and is something essential for him to help regulate himself. Last week he bought a set of ten different sensory balls and we only have one left! So I am now trying apparently “unbreakable” balls. And let’s hope the advertising of them is true!
If you know of anyone/anything else to try, I would love to hear about it. Toys for children are meant to be unbreakable but if a child with sensory needs has to use them for regulation of their systems, the toys break almost instantly. They don’t realise the strength of pressure they are putting on the toys and so destroy them accidentally.
And parents with children who have sensory issues or autism or anything similar will often do anything for them and try to find what they need, even though they know the toy is likely to be broken if it is used for regulation.