Left myself out
I was talking to someone and she pointed out that in the post I did when I talked about my potential and gifts etc, I DIDN’T talk about what it would mean TO me, FOR me. So today I thought I would tackle that. Because, quite honestly, it IS important.
YOU are important. Not just for the roles you play in family and friends, work or creative acts. You see, the ESSENCE of you needs to be explored and demonstrated and, for want of a better description, drawn to the (I guess) front of you. Everything you do needs to be informed by your character and personality. And people can SEE when you aren’t displaying the fullness of you.
For decades I suppose you could say that I didn’t reveal the real ME to others. There were, I admit, some revelations to some people, other things I said to different friends but NOBODY, nobody (except my second boyfriend) knew everything about me. I told him deep things and he reciprocated. Then, when I met Kevin online, I decided that I needed to be more careful and we spent two weeks asking each other everything we wanted to know about each other. So when we met, I KNEW we essentially had the same types of goals even if not in the precise details and I was willing to share everything with him and vice versa.
Now as I am going through counselling, I am beginning to know and understand what I am thinking. So I am attempting to begin building up my ability to function and write for people to see. Yes, it’s scary, but I know I need to get through to the other side and to discover my new world. I know it is a journey of many thousands of steps probably, but a journey starts with one step and then another and another.
So, how am I going to BE me, FOR me? Well, there are some things I can do. Experiment in creative different creative pursuits. Years ago, i painted on glass plates and things and I have also painted on ceramics and enjoyed both things tremendously. I also used to do dried flower arrangements and am thinking about getting back to it again. Johnathan wants to do watercolour painting with me and we can see where that can takes us. I also enjoyed cross-stitch in the past and want to get back to it. And I love music and writing. Writing of course, as you know, i do. But what place music will take in my life I haven’t figured out yet. Oh, and going for drives in the countryside. All these things bring me joy and peace and satisfaction that I can’t get in any other way.
Fact of the matter is, in general we do take care of our physical health. Maybe not to the degree we should, but we at least do it! Mental health has often been overlooked, but with the covid lockdowns and the outcry from people about their mental health, we have become much more aware of its importance in our lives. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand the impact mental health can have on their body. So they believed it isn’t important.
You know what inspires you and ignites that spark of joy within. I hope you understand what is FOR you and you alone, will NOT look like mine. Each and every person on this planet is an individual and just as we look different and behave differently, we will all have different interests and find our joy in different ways or things.
The essential thing is that we must each take the time to examine ourselves and find out what makes each of us unique. Don’t think that doing this is a selfish waste of time. Nurturing what is real within us is VITAL for our mental health and happiness and fulfilment while making us better people. If we don’t take the time to do it, we can’t be the best version of ourselves FOR ourselves or others and is that really fair?