Crediting your potential and low self esteem

Have you ever thought about what a kind of dichotomy we live by?  We try to build our children up by pointing out their potential and express to them how good they are at (fill the blank here).  And yet, and yet, because of low self esteem, we refuse to do it to ourselves.

How is it that our world has become so enshrined?  Did we leave ourselves at the bottom of the heap?  Is it not possible that we could actually BE more than we express ourselves to be?  Are we thinking about ourselves in a good or bad way?  One of things I have discovered in starting counselling is that she is trying to make me take stock of myself and my ability.  But not JUST that - the need to think of my POTENTIAL as well.

It seems weird to think it now, but 50 years ago when I was a child, I don’t remember school focusing on what I COULD achieve, but all the things I actually WASN’T good at.  Now, of course, I encourage Johnathan to believe that he CAN do things.  Most of the subjects he has had to tackle have been easy for him.  He has been far ahead of his peers in nearly every area.  So this has meant that when he has to THINK for maybe a minute the answer to a maths problem, he thinks he doesn’t understand and can’t do it.  EVERY TIME we have checked with the teacher over something he insists he doesn’t understand, he got 100% in it!

I do remember believing that boasting was wrong and I took that to mean I couldn’t say I was good at anything, even if I was!  And, I think, that kind of led to the path of me having very low self esteem.  If I couldn’t say I was good at anything, then it must naturally follow that I wasn’t.  So you see, my whole way of thinking was set up for low self esteem.

And what about the inner voice?  The inside thoughts that aren’t often shared with other people.  Are they negative or positive?  Making life harder or easier?  Thing is, you would NEVER talk to a partner, best friend or child like that, so tell me WHY it is a great idea to do it to yourself?  

In my late teens and early 20s I had FOUR poems published in different books.  But even though it had happened, I didn’t tell people about it, or think that I WAS a poet.  The judges had done it for some unknown, bizarre reason.  And when I wrote a poem about a friend and I gave it to the oldest sister after he died, I was shocked to even hear my poem read out at his funeral!  Quite honestly I was hoping nobody had realised the authorship ascribed to me.

Now I have published my own first poetry book and I know I AM A POET.  I am exploring writing different books and am writing for my website.  I am becoming the parent and wife I always wished to be.  And I’m learning what other creative disciplines I will enjoy.  

It doesn’t matter how low self esteem is.  Building it up isn’t easy, but can be done by doing enjoyable things that are successful.  Reaching potential?  Well, where does that end?  Nowhere.  OK, yes, there are rules and regulations and laws in place that restrict some things, but imagination can be the starting point that leads to wherever the heart wishes.  Dream, learn, plan (if you like), create or do.