I was wrong
It’s quite something when you have to admit you are wrong. And do you know what? Doing it helps you to continue to live life knowing you have recognised it, admitted it and apologised for it. This in turn helps you to feel good about yourself because you have done something right.
Not that I didn’t do so in the past. I did. BUT I also did it when I was felt guilty about something even if it wasn’t my fault. I think I just felt so bad about myself, that making myself feel even worse was par for the course.
Do you know it has taken me years to begin to think slightly better of myself? I’m not saying I’m in a great place - I’m not. But I have began to recognise the subconscious thoughts that are and have been dragging me down. Through counselling, the light is slowly being switched on. Kind of like a dimmer, but it’s beginning to make life a teeny tiny bit better.
One thing I will say is that it’s never a straight progression. You don’t start at one place and go upwards in a trajectory. You go up a little, down a little, up and down. I am assuming you get much better in the end, but what the counsellor said was that it takes a LONG time and lots of hard work. She’s just going to get me started on the journey.
I think it was in August I was going to choose some new underwear. And I went for the plainest, characterless stuff I could see - whatever was cheapest, I think. Kevin stopped me and reminded me that if I wanted to feel better about myself, dressing myself nicely will help a bit. And yes, it has.
Every little possible thing you can do for yourself to make you feel a tiny bit better, is what you should do! Obviously, if you want to go fly a 747, unless you have the licence, don’t! Anything that breaks the law is unacceptable. But do the things that encourage you and lift you up.
Sometimes it’s the tiny things that make the difference. And being creative is something that makes me feel better. Find the tiny things that make the biggest change for you mentally and emotionally. They don’t have to be big. Having someone ring me once a week during covid and continuing has been a wonderful uplift.