Music and Jonathan

Well, actually, I can’t say that I am surprised that Johnathan likes music.  He was exposed to loads of it when I was pregnant and although I wouldn’t say my musical skills are well up there, I have sung in a choir, played a wooden recorder, tried a flute and an oboe, and played the clarinet and piano.  I’ve also dabbled with a few others (like a glockenspiel). 

When Johnathan was a baby I sang to him.  I sang songs I knew by heart and not only did I sing to him but on those nights he was up all night - he would be on a reclined sofa next to me, with one of my hands on his tummy so I could feel him if he moved and BabyTv nighttime on the television.  He was always mesmerised by the music and the lights and the nighttime shows.  And I was TRULY grateful we had it because without it, my nights would have been a complete nightmare.  Most autistic children are NOT good at sleeping and he was no exception.  

However, as Johnathan began to get older, he would request I sing him certain songs and he obviously had his favourites he would want to hear over and over and over again.  I didn’t mind singing what he wanted if I was able I to do so.  And Kevin actually composed little songs he would and does still sometimes sing to him.  We basically used them as tools to help him handle different processes in life that he found difficult.

When Johnathan would have meltdowns, I began to realise that music was a blessings here.  I would lie him on the floor and lie there next to him, with one arm over his body to keep him safe and would sing softly in his ear.  Eventually he would quieten and finally fall asleep and have a good nap.  Meltdowns are not ju only exhausting for the adult, but for the child involved too!  It takes all their energy and if you can get them to nap afterwards, they wake in a much better mood/frame of mind.

As Johnathan got older Kevin used to put on different songs for him when we would go out on car journeys to view the countryside.  He was very responsive not only to the music but to the scenery we were passing.  He would note the various animals as we passed and we would talk about the different colours and shades of colour in the surrounding fields and lakes and ponds and roads and brooks - whatever it was.  Sometimes he would need to get up and stretch a little so we would stop for him.  But mostly there was music.

Then Johnathan discovered HE could find music for himself on an ipad.  He would pick a variety of children’s songs - some I liked and others I found just too much of a racket!  But he was learning what his taste was and what HE liked himself.  And being given that ability to choose for himself meant that he was able to discover even more than we had ever played or thought to play, for him.

He wanted to learn how to make music and Kevin downloaded some apps he could do it on.  At first, naturally, he tried them all and slowly began to learn what he would like.  Of course, he didn’t like everything he created but that’s all a part of the creation process.  You have to experiment to discover your particular “brand” of style.  I think it was at least a year ago if not more, that he came to play Kevin and I a song he had created we both thought was amazing.

I can’t remember what recent holiday it was he asked to buy a drum - it was a child’s drum.  Now he has tremendous strength in his hands and managed to go through the cardboard skin of the drum and wanted another (naturally).  I knew he needed something that would stand the strength of the sticks and so we got a drum with a wooden top that made three different notes.  He was okay with the drum but didn’t think it was as good as the last one because it didn’t sound EXACTLY the same.

However, the other day he went into a freeze/flight mode and I told him to get the drum and bash away at it.  He started with a seriously angry face, making growling noises.  I watched, as his face changed and his eyes lit up and a grinning started spreading from ear to ear!  Then he started giggling and laughing and I said to him “See, Johnathan.  Drumming is good for you because it can change your attitude.  You can’t stop the smile I can see or the giggle I can hear.”