As Comfortable As Old Slippers

Have you ever had a pair of slippers that have got really old but because they are just so comfortable, you don’t want to take them off?  The length of time you have been wearing them means that they are now moulded with your feet and any other footwear you try feels hard, uncomfortable and like you’ve imprisoned your feet by attempting to get new shoes.

When I met Kevin he had a glasses case that was seriously falling apart.  You had to be careful the way you opened it or the glasses fell out or the case and you had to gently hold the ends in place so that you could then close the top.  I discussed with my carer and a couple of friends ways to introduce him to a new glasses case because I knew it would be a hard thing for him to do.

Anyway, one day when it had been particularly difficult to get everything balanced to shut the glasses case I thought this would be a well timed space/gap to suggest I could buy him a new glasses case.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget my comment or his answer and my shocked silence as I sat there wondering what to say next and wishing any one of my friends were there so they could help me figure out what to do next.

So I said to him “Kevin, after you’ve had a glasses case for five years, did you know that you could get another one now?”  He looked at me and said “Five years?  I’ve had this glasses case for FIFTEEN!”  I was speechless at that point and a couple of days later my carer and I went shopping to the local mall and while we were out we got him a new pair. 

This just gives you a small snapshot of what it’s like to be living in an autistic household.  An autistic person likes everything to be the same and for everyone to respond in the same way.  For example, Johnathan has decided he and I have a “chat” (serious conversation) on Sunday afternoons while Kevin has a bath.  He puts some lovely peaceful jazz on the ipad or laptop and we listen to it while we talk.  He always starts off the conversation that he doesn’t know what he wants to talk about and then we cover a range of subjects over the time together and he gets answers to things he is worried about.  

One of the things Kevin’s Dad said to me when I first met him was that if Kevin got a new bed and got out of it on the left side on the first night he spent there, he will do it every day for the rest of the time he has that bed!  And truthfully, I know he is right.  One of the things I tried to do was fight against the desire for constancy by NOT doing things every day at the same time in the same way every time.  You have probably realised by now that I have quite a variety of writing in this space and it helps me to have the variation when I write because it gives me a relief from the repetition.